A Crippling Defense

I remember being encouraged many times, especially because I was a girl, to take self-defense, and I did in college. No doubt, knowing how to defend one's self against the world's cruel attacks can be pretty doggone important, and at the time I was at Clemson, safety for women was a huge concern at night and needed to be. Still, we cannot fully live in a constant state of expecting an attack. There is a difference between preparation and expectancy. And, in this case, living in a constant state of expecting the worst was kind of essential when leaving Lightsey Bridge Apartments after dark.

Spiritually speaking, though, the idea of self defense can be devastating. Time after time biblically, God's people went about defending themselves against perceived threats either prematurely out of impatient fear or running in defense of self preservation away from the exact situation God wanted to use to His glory and their benefit. God likes to do things in a weird way and at the very last minute. It doesn't even look like the last minute, it looks like it's too late. That's how he rewards us with increased faith. The decisions of God's people to go at it alone or their own way, sometimes had cross generational consequences and turned a mess into a disaster.

If a nation is on the defense, then it is not where it wants to be. It's already losing. Running or preparing for the attack of a mighty foe is not generally taking the hill. As soon as I start defending my chess players, I'm almost always whooped.

In Leviticus, the Isrealites were learning how to be encamped with the Tabernacle. They were learning how to be in the presence of God, even amid the threats from invaders and enemies.

“If you walk in My statutes and keep My commandments, and perform them … you shall eat your bread to the full, and dwell in your land safely. I will give you peace in the land, and you shall lie down, and none will make you afraid; I will rid the land of evil beasts, and the sword will not go through your land. You will chase your enemies, and they shall fall by the sword before you. Five of you shall chase a hundred, and a hundred of you shall put ten thousand to flight; your enemies shall fall by the sword before you.” Leviticus 26:3

Don't we need to learn how to handle threats (which often are only perceived) in the context of learning how to encamp with the Holy One? He gave Goliath a sword and David five round stones. He gave Saul a spear and David a harp. Yet, I want to be the poet warrior David. I want to live freely with a heart for God, and precisely and exactly and offensively slay the fears and the self doubt. I want to confidently annihilate any jealousy or pettiness. I want to cloth myself in the armor of righteousness, without the context of constant defense. In fact, we must not live so defensively. Because that is the spirit of fear.  When we listen to the world, thinking we are our own defense, we listen with fear. We miss opporutunites. We foolishly assert a false sense of control over circumstances or people we have no way of controlling. We miss out on love because our guard is up. Our calling is crippled because we are in a victim state lacking a victor's confidence. We run. We were called above that and to have a higher faith. We were called to sound the trumpets of victory before the battle is even won... That kind of faith. We were called to keep on pounding love without immediately feeling the results of that love. We were called to celebrate our peers without concern for our own climb. Fearless love, generously given.

 God is our strategic cover, He has our back, we can run freely and complete this mission of Love without concern for our well being. It is the only way to being well.